Monday, October 11, 2010

World's Worst Worker...The Search Continues

A perennial favorite to replace Rocky Mountain Thunder as Arabian Facebuster's poster boy for rasslin' inexactitude and gracelessness has been under our noses this whole time (well, since July at least): Mr. Jeep Swenson of World Class Championship Wrestling and perturbed at micro-mercenary deposits fame.

Let me make the case for Jeep with my trademark fourth grade sentence structure as you watch him overpower feather mulleted jobber Dusty Wolfe, who bears a striking resemblance to a bloated Mulkey Brother:
(a) He wears a beret.
(b) His punches, while by no means as feeble looking as say Rob Van Dam or Jeff Hardy, are obviously pulled.
(c) He seemingly prefers to fire his opponent into the ropes from the left side of his body, lending credence to my theory that Jeep Swenson is ambidextrous in the sense that he is equally unskilled with both of his hands.
(d) He is a lumbering stiff of the highest order, totally lacking charisma, fluidity of movement, and the ability to bend his legs n' knees inside the squared the circle. Pinning his opponent with his foot while standing up is more than just a gimmick, it is a way of covering up the fact the guy is incapable of rasslin' from any position other than a vertical base.

Jeep Swenson: World's Worst Worker. Whaddya think? Keep searching? A more or less worthy candidate than "The California Kid" Tommy Jammer?

1 comment:

Pencil Neck Geek said...

While Jeep undoubtedly has what it takes (or lack thereof) to be crowned World's Worst Worker, the auditions are so enjoyable that I recommend you continue the search for a while.