"Celebrity" Rehab.

And now, another dose of schadenfreude from Joanie Laurer. Apologies for the out-of-sync sound in this clip, in which the newly-rechristened Chyna attempts to tell Dr. Drew Pinsky exactly what addiction she needs rehabbed. Dr. Drew asks the question on America's lips: "If you're not hooked on booze and pills, why are you on this show?"

Well, for starters, Chyna may not be hooked on booze and pills RIGHT NOW, but anybody who caught her legendary "Holiday" performance on the Howard Stern Show can tell you this lady(?) knows her way around a prescription pad. Further, fans of VH1's Surreal Life know that Joanie drinks like she's got a hollow leg. But her real addiction is so obvious I can't believe Drew can't spot it right away.

So yes, Chyna hits the bottle from time to time. And yes, Chyna may or may not take the odd bar of Xanax. But the real problem is that she's on her THIRD FACE and now she's a puffy wasteland of Botox and collagen.
The poor thing.

You know what I think would help? A song. Chyna's got such a pretty voice.