Missing In Action

I'm not sure which of the following is more elusive: (a) attaining spiritual enlightenment, (b) catching a glimpse of Sasquatch (Big Foot, if you will) in its native habitat (as opposed to ones we keep as indentured servants here in Minnesota), or (c) actually spotting a near 500 pound black man that answers to the name of Viscera Tuesday nights on my GOD DAMN television screen!!!

Alright, after some careful reflection I'm pretty sure that "C" is the correct response.

In a move that provoked a constellation of emotions ranging from apathy to indifference amongst the WWE fanbase, "The World's Largest Love Machine," seen here debunking the conventional wisdom that wearing black makes a person look slimmer, moved from RAW to ECW as part of the federation's supplemental draft. Since that time, he seemingly vanished into thick thin air.

If I've learned anything in my tedious and unfulfilling life, it's that persistence eventually pays off. Therefore, on behalf of the staff and readership here at Arabian Facebuster, I would like to once again cajole the WWE writers to turn this gargantuan, pajama wearing superstar flamingly, flamboyantly, gaudily gay at your earliest possible convenience. It isn't like you are currently utilizing the character for some cutesy lower mid-card angle or to strongly put over some up-and-coming babyface, or anything even remotely productive.

Ponder it over the weekend. Seriously. I'm sure someone here from Arabian Facebuster will be following up with you again real soon.