Malibu's New Furniture...Have Mercy!!!

Facebuster Nation: Apologies are in order from the highly organized, pristine desk of Malibu Sands for the lack of substantive content over the past few weeks. You see, I've recently gone ahead and purchased myself a luxurious new estate on a sprawling, palatial riverfront property that architecturally and atheistically is not unlike "Nature Boy" Ric Flair's early 1980s lakefront home in suburban Charlotte NC, minus the weathered deck, freeloading water fowl, and smoking hot wife. Over the last month, I have been spending an inordinate amount of time unpacking and strategically arranging my wrestling action figures, hanging up a life-sized X-Pac poster on my bedroom ceiling and scouring the Twin Cities area's finest outlet malls, flea markets, swap meets, pawn shops, crack houses, land fills, and curb sides in search of furnishings and furniture for my pad.

Alas, my protracted and arduous ordeal for a poorly built floral print couch, pastel pink lamps designed and assembled without any sense of irony, and a 10 piece pit group (huh?) is finally over.

Gotta run...my flight to Love Field is departing in an hour. Oh, and I most assuredly will be telling the furniture sales associate (along with the airline ticket agent, skycap, stewardess, pilot, fat guy in the seat next to me, airport bartender, car rental agent, and hookers that I pick up on the way to and from the Love Furniture Center) that the Ice Man sent me.