I planned to post something last week about awkward sexpot Lillian Garcia (seen here hurling her own excrement into the crowd at a WWE live event...adding yet another layer of meaning to the WWE approved tag-line "Catch the Excitement!"), specifically her evasion of ring announcing duties for what seems like the last six months.Then all of a sudden last night she was back, introducing Rory and Robby, better known to you, me, and the whole damn planet as The Highlanders with her trademark forced vivacity and guttural over-enunciation. What gives? Can anybody explain the reason for Lillian's extended sabbatical? Was she on an extended maternity leave? A serious bender followed by a stint in rehab? Following in the trail blazing footsteps of Trish Stratus as a celebrity law enforcement guinea pig on Armed and Famous 2? Suspended for violating the company's foolproof Wellness Policy?
I am too busy at work and too lazy at home to locate an answer. Therefore, allow me to provide some incentive to the legion of Arabian Facebusterites to do some investigation on my inquisitive behalf. A 240z can of Camo Black Ice will be awarded to the individual who is able to unravel this mystery, or at least provide a plausible explanation with some supporting citation. For those outside of the Twin Cities metropolitan area, I am prepared to use Fed Ex overnight shipping and the finest in Styrofoam based insulating packaging to ensure that this marvelous nectar arrives cool to the touch at your doorstep.
Game on.
2 comments:
With the promise of that thirst quenching and hallucination inducing elixir, Camo Black Ice, up for grabs, I lept to my keyboard to find out where Lillian Garcia has been all this time (truly a great moment in the history of operant conditioning). .10 seconds later I arrived at www.lilliangarcia.com and my life would never be the same...
Seems Lillian had a torn ACL as a result of a skiing accident somewhere in Vermont. You can read more about her daring exploits in the "My Skiing Accident" entry in "Lillian's Journal". Fear not- with the help of the good folks at Dr. Tehrany's office and Lillian's can-do spirit, our favorite poo flinging announcer declares her status to be "Forever Rockin' :)"!
When you are done there, make sure to puruse every nook and cranny of my favorite new website (sorry kamala.com). Sign the guestbook, where one illiterate loser even offers up his phone number and requests a return call. Marvel at Lillian's personal photos of celebrity encounters (including Ludacris and former WCW World Champion David Arquette). Write Lillian a personal e-mail- Hell, I did.
God bless you Malibu. I should be sending you a can of Camo Black Ice as a symbol of my eternal gratitude.
Forever Rockin :),
Pencil Neck Geek
Pencil Neck Geek wrote: "God bless you Malibu. I should be sending you a can of Camo Black Ice as a symbol of my eternal gratitude."
In that case, I'll just hold on to the can in question!!!
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