BREAKING NEWS: Edge Out Indefinitely

In what qualifies as a rare case of BlackJack Brown getting out-scooped and altogether bitch-slapped by the competition, Dave Meltzer of The Wrestling Observer is reporting that Smackdown! champion Edge is out of commission for an indeterminate amount of time as the result of last week's trademark WWE "main event interview turned sixty second donnybrook" with box office cash cow "The Big Red Machine" Kane. According to Meltzer, as of now the plan is to hold a battle royal at tonight's conclave of mediocrity, otherwise known as the Smackdown/ECW television tapings, to crown a new champion.

We here at Arabian Facebuster wish (a) Edge a speedy and full recovery; (b) that the Smackdown! title NOT be awarded to the following superstars: Kane, Batista, The Great Khali, Mark Henry, MVP, Deuce, Domino, either of the brothers Major, Chris Masters, Chavo Guerrero, Chuck Palumbo, Kenny Dykstra, Eugene, Dave Taylor, Jimmy Wang Yang, Gregory Helms, Jamie Noble, Shannon Moore, Funaki, and any and all of the divas. For those keeping track, that leaves Finlay, Matt Hardy, Hornswoggle, Commissioner Teddy Long, and Michael Cole as the only uninjured superstars available to carry the torch.

I got $10 on Hornswoggle.