In news that surprises absolutely nobody, our beloved Teddy Hart has been released from his WWE development contract. Sadly, it would appear that his termination has little to do with projectile vomiting or fisticuffs. Instead, Our Ted got the sack for crowbarring his entire moveset into every match he wrestled, despited being warned by various officials to tone it down. Well listen up, you WWE pigs! Don't hire the spinny-flippy if you can't HANDLE the spinny-flippy! He's on a mission from GOD, dicks! Jesus sent Teddy Hart to push wrestling FORWARD and if your atavistic pea-brains can't handle the AWESOME then Teddy will just have to start his own federation! AGAIN! And this time it'll have three different rings! Stacked on top of each other! With trampolines... FLAMING BARBED WIRE TRAMPOLINES! And a CAGE ON TOP!! And filled with ELECTRIFIED TASER PIRANHAS!!! WITH FLAMING DEATHMATCH BROKEN GLASS TRAMPLOINE CAGES ON THEIR HEADS!!!! And Teddy Hart will BY GOD AND THE BABY JESUS perform EIGHTY SIX CONSECUTIVE MOONSAULTS off the CAGES on the HEADS of the FISH in the CAGE on top of the THREE RINGS and the TRAMPOLINES until he FUCKING PUKES!!!!! ARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! EXTREME!!!!!!!! ROCK!!!!!!!!!! GO!!!!!!!!
Heh... gasp... puff... ah... whew.
Anyway, the British Bulldog's kid debuted on Monday. I'll let you know how that went if I can remember to set th' VCR for RAW en Espanol. But without Teddy Hart it's just kind of whatever, you know?
1 comment:
Funny, I was going to wear that exact same outfit out to da' clubs this evening. You gotta hand it to Teddy Hart, the man has impeccable fashion sense.
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