Saturday, March 31, 2007

Stakes Is High

Hey gang, Wrestlemania 23 is tomorrow! Meh, you say? No whining, Facebuster staff- wrestling fans worldwide will be awaiting a dismissive recap with baited breath. To ease the burden of our journalistic obligations, Pencil Neck Geek hereby pledges a half rack of Rainier* to whoever posts the most correct predictions in our comments section.
Be warned that you will want to make your selections with utmost care. The participant with the fewest correct picks will be required to read (or at least flip through on the crapper) Joanie "Chyna" Laurer's "If They Only Knew" and write a review here on Arabian Facebuster. I know this seems harsh, but that Kane vs. Khali match ain't getting any more interesting on its own...
* In an effort to curb the alcohol poisoning epidemic currently sweeping the Facebuster community, Camo Black Ice has been replaced as the Official Prize Beer of Wrestlemania.


Pencil Neck Geek said...

- Undertaker wins World Heavyweight Title
- John Cena hangs on to the Spinny Title
- Lashley (Trump's hair) over Umaaaga (McMahon's hair)
- Chris Benoit over MVP for the US Title
- Mr. Kennedy wins Money in the Bank
- As much as it pains me to say it, New Breed wins ECW schmoz
- Um, Ashley over Melina
- Khali over Kane

Apollo Spas said...

Sigh... okay, here goes:
-Undertaker beats Bats
-HBK beats Cena (oh please oh please)
-Lashley beats The Samoan Throwback, Stone Cold does the actual head-shaving
-MVP beats Benoit (double sigh)
-Randy Orton wins the MITB (snicker)
-New Breed wins Schmozz
-Melina beats Ashley
-Kane beats Khali

Malibu Sands said...

It looks like I won't be reporting to the Facebuster community on what's new in the world of Chyna Doll...

-Undertaker over The Animal.

-John Cena retains over Shawn Michaels, with a heel turn by one of them (probably HBK) to keep the program going/set up a hot rematch at Backlash.

-Lashley wins. Stone Cold drinks beer and shaves Vinnie Mac's head.

- MVP over Benoit. Benoit shows up on RAW the next night.

-Edge wins MITB.

-New Breed win the blowoff against the EC-Dub originals.

-Ashley over Melina in a match so utterly terrible and business exposing that it makes Velvet McIntyre vs. Fabulous Moolah from WM2 look like Steamboat-Savage from WM3.

-Khali beats Kane.

Rev. vonFury said...

Well, lemme see here....

- Khali does something nasty that juices Kane all over the backstage area, perhaps spread out in several vignettes of near-unwatchable back stage action peppered among the undercard. "1/2 *"

- The one with the big BooBs wins.
"- **'s"

- ECW is really dead, so the ECW Originals have yet another reason to move around like zombies. Kevin Thorn with an assist form
Ariel wins it for the new breed. Who are Kevin Thorn and Ariel? See Arabian Facebustrer Archives from last July.
"*+1/2 *'s"

- Edge Takes Money in the Bank AGAIN, for no reason other than to explain yet another feud with Cena/ and or Michaels, in six to eight months once he's done wih Randy Retardo and they've FINALLY pulled the trigger on the HBK/Cena Tag-Champ Friends/Better Enemies Feud. In six to eight months. Or maybe sooner....or maybe not. Edge wins money in the bank @ WM 24... for a third time...
"Total waste of upper-midcard *'s"

- Who is this MVP? And why is he on my TV? Benoit will make him pay! Shame on you Facebuster's, shame on you!
"B***it f**k'n r**k's!"

- Michaels throws Cena through a plate glass window, wins with an assist from "Hx3".
"My god, its full of ***'s!"

- McMahon is getting shaved. Ratings do not change. Lashley is HOOOOGE!!!
"Not enough *'s in the sky"

- Batista has had the non-offensive belt for how long? Now THAT'S offensive. UT takes this one back to parts unknown and hangs it on his candelabra. What's this? Perhaps a battle of the Champs, UT AND HBK for ONE TITLE Oh My GAWWWWWWD!!! SummerSlam!!!! Oh My GAWWWWDDDDDDDDD!!!
"**1/2 *'s"

-The Rev.