Friday, October 06, 2006

How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Homeland Security

Recent developments in TNA wrestling have left your correspondent in something of a moral quandry. As a long time lefty anarchist malcontent, I of course yearn for a utopian future where all the races of earth join together in their hearts and minds to seize the means of production, smash the state, execute their leaders, and walk the shining path of righteousness etcetera.

On the other hand, true racial understanding among the working classes would mean an end to the feud between the LAX and AJ Styles/Christopher Daniels (Pictured above at left). This, obviously, will not stand. Last month's Ultimate X match finally ushered in the much-heralded New Era of Violence, to near-universal acclaim. THIS month, we are blessed to receive a 6 Sides of Steel match (a cage match, for those of you wrestling in non-goofy rings) just in time for the first ever Arabian Facebuster Roundtable Summit (we welcome our visitors from the Land of 10,000 Lakes). It should be glorious, to say the least.

That said, it causes me no end of intellectual discomfort to know that this tremendous bounty lies at my feet ONLY through the tragic state of US-Mexico border relations. As long as the LAX represent the monstrous Bogey Man lurking at our Southern Border, eager to steal our jobs/make off with our women/enhance our cuisine, we are assured that the high-flying bloodbaths will continue. Should we (horrors!) relax into multiculturalism, the feud will lose heat faster than this guy.

So I am torn. I of couse want all humans everywhere to love and understand each other. I realize that Global Capitalism exploits the working stiffs of ALL cultures, and only by banding together to resist the cold hand of the multinational conglomerate can we ever hope to elevate ourselves. I also realize that LAX/Styles/Daniels plus steel cage equals TOTAL KICKASS. And if Arabian Facebuster cares about anything, it is ass kickin', no matter what its culture of origin.

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