The Tacoma News Tribune's Black Jack Brown is reporting that Brooke Hogan's $25,000+ diamond grills were a gift from none other than that habitual gym bag crapper Randy Orton, who purchased the precious stones from a warlord in Sierra Leone, and then had them custom molded by multi-platinum recording artist Lil' Flip's dentist! While Hulk Hogan was initially thrilled that his daughter's newly iced teeth would instantaneously grant "Everything to Me" a coveted heavy rotation slot on America's intellectually insipid, garishly materialistic, morally bankrupt hip hop radio stations, once he learned the source of the bling, according to a written statement issued by mischievous son Nick Hogan, he was livid, brother. The Hulkster has vowed to show up tonight in Charlottesville, VA (with peculiarly sexy daughter and oversized red and yellow gym bag in his sight at all times) to confront the dastardly defecator face-to-face in the middle of the ring, along with his 24" pythons and thousands of Hulkamaniacs, dude! Whacchya gonna do Randy Orton, when the Hulkster runs wild on you . . . TONIGHT . . . on RAW . . . LIVE!
Monday, August 14, 2006
Report: Brooke and Hulk Hogan on RAW Tonight!
The Tacoma News Tribune's Black Jack Brown is reporting that Brooke Hogan's $25,000+ diamond grills were a gift from none other than that habitual gym bag crapper Randy Orton, who purchased the precious stones from a warlord in Sierra Leone, and then had them custom molded by multi-platinum recording artist Lil' Flip's dentist! While Hulk Hogan was initially thrilled that his daughter's newly iced teeth would instantaneously grant "Everything to Me" a coveted heavy rotation slot on America's intellectually insipid, garishly materialistic, morally bankrupt hip hop radio stations, once he learned the source of the bling, according to a written statement issued by mischievous son Nick Hogan, he was livid, brother. The Hulkster has vowed to show up tonight in Charlottesville, VA (with peculiarly sexy daughter and oversized red and yellow gym bag in his sight at all times) to confront the dastardly defecator face-to-face in the middle of the ring, along with his 24" pythons and thousands of Hulkamaniacs, dude! Whacchya gonna do Randy Orton, when the Hulkster runs wild on you . . . TONIGHT . . . on RAW . . . LIVE!
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3 comments:
I sure hope the WWE has some "Dastardly Defecator" T-shirts ready for Summerslam.
That botched Hogan vs. fake Hogan irish wip and sleep inducing main event promo epitomizes the drab, listless state of WWE programming over the past 12-18 months . . . or was it that botched RVD steel chair Van Daminator last Tuesday night on ECW that epitomizes the WWE's recent woes . . . no wait, maybe it was the signing and pushing of another talentless big man the Great Kahli on Friday night Smackdown . . . or was it Mark Henry's . . . I give up . . . gotta run . . . time to program the Tivo to record Wed. nights Diva Search finals, hosted by the charismatic, unpremeditated, yet downright amiable Miz.
Favorite Syntax Killer Moment:
"Obviously, needless to say, Sunday...
I'm really looking forward to Sunday!"
Gentlemen, I think we're looking at presidential material.
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