Thursday, August 17, 2006


"The Ragin' Bull" Manny Fernandez vs. Randy & Bill Mulkey. The Great American Bash, July 31, 1987; Orange Bowl, Miami FL.

Sweet sweet rare hand-held footage of Fernandez (managed by Paul Jones) vs. The Mulkey Brothers, possibly the greatest jobber twin brothers in the history of our sport (nod to Tony Schavonie). You'll be happy you wasted 2:30 of your life watching this!

The backstory: Rick Rude had fled Jim Crockett Promotions for the greener pastures of Vince McMahon's sports entertainment juggernaut several weeks prior. Rude and Fernandez were tag team champs at the time of the Ravishing One's departure, thereby forcing a hasty NWA World Tag Team Title change (I believe a phantom one at that to the Rock and Roll Express) and leaving Fernandez with nothing better to do as the month long Great American Bash tour rolled around than kick the crap out of jobbers (like the Mulkeys) and join forces with Ivan Koloff and the Barbarian in six man tag team action against the Fabulous Freebirds.

This clipped handicap match is a total squash with the Mulkeys' getting in no offense, eventually succumbing to the merciless physical onslaught of solidly and fairly stiffly delivered punches, chops, headbutts, and elbow smashes. I sincerely hope that Fernandez took whichever Mulkey brother was on the receiving end of that back body drop out for a steak and a lap dance (or twelve) afterwards, because he made Bull look like a million bucks . . . although I'm sure the other brother would find a way to tag along and mooch an order of prime rib and a trip to the salad bar off of the lumpy yet gregarious veteran.

While Fernandez's blue collar gut, B-cup man boobs, dumpy ass, partially bleached mullet, and "violent offender recently released from prison" ethos would never permit him the opportunity to follow Rude "up north" and have an oversized rubber action figure produced in his image, I am certain that the Ragin' Bull slept soundly at night knowing that his competently executed offensive moveset put food on the table for his family and a heroic quantity of cocaine, painkillers, and Wild Turkey shots into his system.

More on the Mulkey's later . . .


Apollo Spas said...

The absolute best part of this comes at twenty-eight seconds in. The dulcet voice of a young child shouts out, "That's real! That was real!" as Fernandez levels Mulkey One with a headbutt. Truly, the state of a civilization can be judged by the education of its youth.
I'll buy that kid a beer and a shot if Modern Day Him turns up in Portland.

Pencil Neck Geek said...

Thank you Malibu. Muleymania is spreading through Portland like wildfire. Please do not delay in bringing us more of the Mulkey Bros. and their pasty goodness. Sincerely,
Pencil N. Geek